viviku:

gothfabio:

ricktimus:

Probably my favorite thing about Bob’s Burgers is that they don’t do that thing where the characters try to one-up each other with an endless barrage of jokes? No, the characters react like actual people instead. They actually laugh or chuckle when somebody says something actually funny and/or weird. They stop mid-sentence. They do double-takes. And it all feels so very natural, because that is exactly what common people do. And that is such a refreshing change of pace, when you consider the fact that the norm in these things is to have jokes relentlessly thrown at you at break-necking speed.

also the comedy doesn’t rely on the parents hating and berating eachother idk i love that

it shows how you don’t need to be offensive to be funny

general banter is the best way to write dialogue

"She’s my Han Solo and I’m her Chewbacca, because she’s the only one who can understand me sometimes, and I will destroy anyone who tries to hurt her."
-Amy Poehler about Tina Fey (via knopetowashington)
believebeluga:

cetaceandreams:

Levitate

Wingardium leviorca

believebeluga:

cetaceandreams:

Levitate

Wingardium leviorca

perchu:

eating in class when ur not supposed to

image

jpnvines:

笑笑笑。 #Funnies #リメイク #iphone #着信音 〜 ささぽち

Hahaha. #Funnies #remake #iphone #ringtone 〜 ささぽち

dylanr5:

tutsthepussy:

smoke weed, fine. graffiti, fucking do it man. party at strip clubs, more power to you.

but dont you fucking dare drive while drunk. you could kill someone else or yourself. do whatever you want unless you’re going to fuck up someone elses life.

AMEN

steambot-timelord:

ashkenazi-autie:

eileenthequeen:

eileenthequeen:

So apparently in my sister’s class, there was a trans girl that had been on the cheerleading squad for a while. When she came out, the other girls on the squad made the agreement that whatever boy made fun of her would never get a date. And if you think that’s not the most metal girl alliance ever, you can sit down.

Wow, 500 notes

Girls protecting girls.

GIRLS PROTECTING GIRLS

girlwholovesdragons:

anti-social-jaguar:

quirkdemon:

tuxedoangel:

teapotsahoy:

Yes, good, correct use of train technology.

This is so cool……

she’s a dragon
she’s a dragon

Reminds me of Skyrim when you slay dragons and there’re all bones.

SHE’S A DRAGON

girlwholovesdragons:

anti-social-jaguar:

quirkdemon:

tuxedoangel:

teapotsahoy:

Yes, good, correct use of train technology.

This is so cool……

she’s a dragon

she’s a dragon

Reminds me of Skyrim when you slay dragons and there’re all bones.

SHE’S A DRAGON

humanitys-eyecandy:

sadisticallydiverse:

I feel like these two should go together 

YES.

d0nn0:

d0nn0:

SOMEONE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IM NOT LUKE AND IM SCARED FOR JAKE’S SAFETY

This got 32k and the guy was in the bathtub the whole time trippin on lsd

d0nn0:

d0nn0:

SOMEONE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BECAUSE IM NOT LUKE AND IM SCARED FOR JAKE’S SAFETY

This got 32k and the guy was in the bathtub the whole time trippin on lsd

sulphursun:

…….

i should explain

jojogonewild:

threshecutioner:

he’s going to kick everyone’s ass.

he’ll kick his own ass.

terrorkion:

32teeth:

why do boys call other boys “pretty boy” as an insult???? that’s probably the most flattering thing anyone could ever say to me?? call me pretty boy. tell me im the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen

because it’s supposed to be in reference to vanity and/or looking nice, which are commonly attributed to femininity and are therefore considered bad in the eyes of a masculine heterosexual man

thewintersoulja:

frappemako:

the-one-inside:

someottersmarryhedgehogs:

noiselesspatientspider:

iheartuniversecookies:

angelas-extrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 
….
Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.Hilda looked at him expectantly.“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.
….

DICK
ANEURYSM

GALLOPING ABS

Who told this lady she could write?

Why did she ever stop?

IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG

i fukcing lost it at meat wand

thewintersoulja:

frappemako:

the-one-inside:

someottersmarryhedgehogs:

noiselesspatientspider:

iheartuniversecookies:

angelas-extrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 

….

Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.

Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.


Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.


As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”


Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.


“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”

At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.

Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.

Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.

Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!

The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.

She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”

But her bed was empty.

Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.

….

DICK

ANEURYSM

GALLOPING ABS

Who told this lady she could write?

Why did she ever stop?

IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG

i fukcing lost it at meat wand