Not Sleeping

lakemojave:

You don’t like New Yawk? 🗽? Bada Bing?

(via pedantricks)

disguisedcheezed:

ALT

dirkjohn gay sex happen.

(via godtiermeme)

moomingitz:

(via ubercharge)

iamoutofideas:

guy who listens to tool: hey man you ever listened to tool?

guy who lives near a construction site:

(via greatcheshire)

thebadtimeskid:

shanmustafa-yo:

missionary so we can continue our argument from before

Doggystyle so you can watch the PowerPoint presentation I made outlining why you were wrong

(via pedantricks)

nthfunct:

man who opened a parenthesis he forgot to close 4 years ago is tragically unaware everything he’s said since has been an aside

(via pedantricks)

ot3:

there’s an episode of malcolm in the middle where he just shuts up and stops complaining for awhile and it immediately starts to significantly improve his life but also it causes him an ulcer and by the end of the episode he is literally spitting up blood and i have always deeply and unshakably believed that is exactly how the situation would play out for me too

(via godtiermeme)

doubleca5t:

theharlotofferelden:

Genuinely loved the experience of being at camp for the first time and seeing all the companions with their tits out like they’re all gonna go clubbin or some shit

Then there’s Gale

Who’s just. So utterly swagless that his clothes smell like dusty old books. My man doesn’t give a fuck about the drip he’s getting his ass ready for bed

(via ubercharge)

transgenderboobs:

got my november trends mixed up so i accidentally nutted 50k times and didn’t write a single word

(via ubercharge)

as-if-and-only-if:

woosh-floosh:

💥🖕 FUCK PRONOUNS 🖕💥 Never refer to… to….. uhh….. hmmm… this is hard…. umm…. fuck….. uhhhhh

this

PRONOUN SPOTTED.

OBJECTIVE FAILED.

TRY AGAIN? (Y/N)

(via nerdilings)

christianstepmoms:

christianstepmoms:

favorite pokemon conceptually are the ones counted as a single entity but are just clearly like, more than one guy just hanging out.

(via ubercharge)

palmer:

suckmemeat:

palmer:

suckmemeat:

palmer:

I’m going to the grocery store does anyone want to sublet my apartment for 45 minutes

How much

Only 3400

hot damn 🏃‍♂️ cmon guys lets go 🏃‍♂️🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🧞‍♀️

ok I’m back you and your boyfriend and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your djinn can go

(via strange-aeons)

peach-tia:

“download the app to continue!” what if I kill you

(via strange-aeons)

kousera:

tanadrin:

scrubbed the bathroom floor this morning. this sense of virtue and industry will last me easily into next week.

some of you would thrive in a monastery

(via ubercharge)